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Have The Yankees Found A New Ace?…

Ha ha, ha ha. New York, you provide me so much entertainment. Last night, as you were getting blown out by the defending American League Champions, the Tampa Bay Rays, you resorted to letting a position player, Nick Swisher (why not let Jeter pitch?!?!), throw your eighth inning. This was absolutely comedic. The only thing better? Jose Canseco’s pitching appearance years ago when he literally threw the ball all over the place from the mound. Swisher, who hasn’t stepped onto the mound to throw a pitch since his high school days, actually threw a scoreless inning however. He even struck out Gabe Kapler on his way to putting up his goose egg on the scoreboard in the bottom of the eighth! Shoot, after last night’s performance, the Yankees should renegotiate his contract and put him in the rotation. None of the rest of their starters can get anybody out, and this includes anyone, and I mean ANYONE, in their bullpen. Why not? What do you have to lose? Oh yea, the mystique and pride of the New York Yankees. Swisher’s debut was well worth a ticket to the field down in Tampa Bay…I know the Rays’ fans had fun…and I’m just jealous because I wasn’t there to witness it in person…

And for all you fellow Yankee haters out there, check out the hilarious video below…how embarrassing New York…

Courtesy of YouTube

To Joba: “Silence Is Golden Big Guy…”

Not to continue my rant on the New York Yankee personnel, but….no wait, I WILL continue to rant on Yankee personnel. After a recent DUI arrest in Nebraska (of all states), Joba Chamberlain, a youngbuck and projected pitching prodigy in the Yankee organization, showed his true, sheepish colors and shared with the arresting officer his true thoughts on the city of New York. Hey Yankees fans, can’t you just wait to hear what he said? Huh, huh, huh? Well, it isn’t pretty if you’re a New Yorker or if you’re a life devotee of the Yanks.

During his arrest commentary, Mr. Chamberlain disgustingly blabbered about how much he hated New Yorkers and the city itself, especially its drivers who he proclaimed as “cutthroat” and “rude.” With a bottle of Crown Royal sitting in his lap, he continued to bash his own reputation by ripping on Hall of Famer Yogi Berra for his play and his height. What an idiot…that’s the last thing you want to do as a Yankee, or any other person for that manner. Who is Joba to criticize a Hall of Famer and make fun of him? That’s a great way to get yourself booed at home games. So dumb…so drunk….so immature. In a drunken stuper, Joba continued to vow that if he walked out in front of traffic (which he should probably do now), that NY drivers would hit him. Well Joba, now they have a legitimate reason. Son, get your head on straight or the Big Apple will eat you alive. Many talented players have succumb to the pressure of Yankee stadium and its fans, just add Mr. Chamberlain to the list.

And in an even more classy detail, Joba was coming home from a local strip club when he was given the DUI and a ticket for speeding…..in NEBRASKA?!?!? Apparently he doesn’t have good taste either….grow up dude….Keep your big mouth shut, go out and pitch and prove to the baseball world why you’re considered the greatest thing on the mound since sliced bread. Otherwise, go sit on your fat butt at home, play video games, and drink yourself into submission so no one ever has to hear from you again, especially New York Hall of Famers. I would love to be there when he talks to Yogi face to face…I hope that ecstatic convo ends up on YouTube.

Let’s Buy Victories? Don’t Be Ridiculous New York…

Two contracts, $340M, and two previous all-stars. Where does that get you? A 10 to 5 loss on Opening Day 2009 to the up and coming Baltimore Orioles. Yesterday, the New York Yankees got to debut and hopefully show off (which they didn’t to the delight of O’s fans) two new mega-stars that they paid an arm, a leg, a retirement, a savings account, all your property, their soul, and more for…if you get my drift. And of course, to all the baseball world’s liking outside of New York, they fell flat on their face. Chubby Checker Sabathia and Mark “Don’t Throw Me A Curveball PLEASE!” Teixiera provided nothing to help New York in Baltimore. Teixiera went 0-for-4, leaving 5 men on base and CC got hammered by a young, energetic Orioles squad led by Brian Roberts and Adam “I’m Not Pacman” Jones. Who saw this coming? Well, most of us did. The O’s have recently had the Yanks’ number during the regular season. This is just more proof to the idea that money CAN’T win championships, even though the New York Yankees and the Steinbrenner family try to every year. All the pompous NYY management simply wants to do is flex their financial muscle and literally buy everyone and everything out. But as we saw last year with the Tampa Bay Rays, sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much you have. When you have talent and a team who WANTS to win and actually plays hard, things happen the way you want. However, this Yankee ball-club is full of overpaid, overpraised mediocrity (outside of Jeter and A-Rod – but he takes steroids so who knows) who is promoted by ridiculous New York devotees in a city that would boo the Easter Bunny this weekend if he showed up at the ballpark. All I have to say is, “Hey New York Yankee fans, hope the new stadium’s nice to ya”……

Yes, this is just one game. But for all of us Yankee haters, we hope this is more of a hilarious preview of the Yanks’ season to come. And this, of course, is yet another appropriate opportunity for a funny YouTube video ripping on the ‘Da Yanks’…..enjoy….

Video Courtesy of YouTube